Chapter 1: Confronting the Stage

Reflecting on my experience of discovering positivity feels akin to recalling a scene from a movie. The imagery is vivid: "His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy." While not a direct recitation of Eminem's famous lyrics from 'Lose Yourself', it resonates with my own journey of finding positivity.

Standing before my classmates in the primary school auditorium, the ground seemed to tremble beneath me, accompanied by a strange ringing noise that made me question my surroundings. Was there an earthquake? Why was the audience remaining calm?

This scenario was real—not the earthquake, but my bewilderment as I grappled with an overwhelming sense of anxiety during my first public speech. Despite years of school presentations, I had never encountered such fear until that moment at age 11 or 12. As someone who now identifies as both anxious and a perfectionist, I see this as an early warning sign.

Outside the classroom, I had developed a passion for dance after being inspired by the film Step Up 2: The Streets. My fascination with the performers led me to seek out online tutorials. Around the age of 13 or 14, I stumbled upon the movie Centre Stage: Turn It Up, featuring Rachele Brooke Smith. This encounter opened a new chapter in my life. She became a source of motivation, embodying positivity and confidence. I discovered a website filled with resources, including a PDF from Rachele that emphasized the importance of being positive, self-assured, and embracing life. While it might seem simplistic, this marked the beginning of my personal development journey, coinciding with the emergence of my public speaking anxiety.

Suddenly, I was immersed in an entirely new realm. I downloaded various PDFs and committed to the process. I learned actionable steps to enhance my life, engage in self-reflection, and practice positive affirmations, ultimately increasing my awareness of human behaviors and how to enhance our experiences.

Now, back to that looming fear of speaking in public. As a young teen, I had a presentation on the horizon and knew I had to harness the knowledge I had gained to calm my nerves and bolster my self-esteem.

On the day of the speech, I engaged in positive affirmations while enjoying breakfast.

"I am confident. Yes."

"I can do this. Yes."

"The universe supports me."

"I am greater than my fears."

Feeling empowered, I headed to school, ready for the next stage. The mind tends to absorb what it hears. I've experienced the tendency to engage in self-deprecating banter on speech day, where everyone tries to outdo each other in expressing their anxiety.

"I haven't even practiced my speech!"

"I can't remember my lines!"

"Well, I haven't even completed mine!"

To counteract this negativity, my strategy was to nod and smile, perhaps even join in on light-hearted laughter to maintain my facade. Whenever someone voiced a negative thought, I would internally counter it with something uplifting about my own presentation.

Your speech is terrible? Mine is exceptional! Feeling anxious about addressing the class? This is my moment to shine!

Truthfully, I didn’t genuinely feel that way. It might seem like self-deception. Nevertheless, if you consistently affirm your strengths, you will start to believe in them. This practice can unlock the confidence that has always been within you.

When the moment to face my public speaking fear arrived, I noticed a significant reduction in my nerves—perhaps around 80% less anxious. This was quite an achievement for a first attempt. With a morning dedicated to constructive self-talk, my longstanding signs of nervousness faded. I found my voice, articulated my thoughts clearly, and stood firmly on the ground. Imagine applying this mindset across various aspects of life! While this experience didn’t completely eradicate my anxiety or perfectionist traits, ongoing positive self-affirmation and practice can definitely improve one's relationship with public speaking.

As Eminem wisely stated, "You can do anything you set your mind to, man."

This video discusses the transformative effects of positive thinking and how it can influence various aspects of life.

This video explores positivity, offering insights on how to cultivate a positive mindset through simple practices and reflections.