Finding Clarity: How Understanding My Desires Transformed My Life
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Chapter 1: The Journey Begins
For a significant part of my life, I was unaware that I was drifting through each day without a clear purpose, unsure of my aspirations and what it meant to be happy—if I was even happy at all. While I still take things one day at a time, I now do so with a conscious intention to address my past and strive for greater happiness.
A little over a year ago, my primary focus revolved around work. I prioritized my job above everything else, followed by my romantic relationship and my volunteer commitments. Concepts like mental well-being and work-life balance were foreign to me. Burnout? I dismissed it as mere fatigue, opting to recharge by sleeping through my weekends instead of engaging with the vibrant life around me in the city that never sleeps.
One day, as I reflected on my life, I felt an unsettling emptiness. When conversing with new acquaintances, I struggled to respond to questions like "What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?" or "What drives your passions?" The realization that my job dominated my conversations weighed heavily on me.
What sparked my desire for change?
It all came crashing down unexpectedly—I found myself overwhelmed by work stress, relationship strains, and the yearning for more than a monotonous desk job. After years of bottling up my emotions, I experienced a sudden urge for a complete turnaround.
A pivotal moment occurred when someone inquired about my desires in life and relationships. Unlike the vague question of "What are you passionate about?" this one struck a chord; I had never truly considered it. In seeking professional guidance, I aimed to differentiate between wants and needs.
Takeaway: As humans, our needs are limited, but our wants are endless.
Section 1.1: Understanding Wants vs. Needs
The distinction between wants and needs is crucial. Needs are our fundamental requirements for survival—food, shelter, clothing, and so forth. For instance, I require a warm jacket in winter and sustenance for energy. On the other hand, wants are aspirations for possessions or experiences, not essential for survival.
Do I want a Netflix subscription to enjoy a variety of shows? Absolutely, as it offers entertainment and topics for conversation with friends. But do I need it? Not really; there are plenty of other subjects I can discuss.
Section 1.2: Reflecting on My Life
After grasping this difference, I took a step back to contemplate my life and the relationships I nurtured. I began to set goals for the year ahead. What do I wish to accomplish in my career? How can I strengthen my connections with friends and family? Most importantly, what activities can I engage in for my physical well-being? What steps can I take to increase my personal happiness?
I documented all my objectives on my Notion board, detailing the motivations behind each goal, the actions needed to achieve them, the places I wanted to explore, and deadlines for completion.
These aspirations are fluid and can change. For example, in two months, I might prioritize bouldering over attending numerous Broadway shows.
Since initiating this goal-setting process, I feel a newfound lightness. It has allowed me to reassess my priorities; while work used to dominate my focus, I now strive for a balanced life where my mental and physical health takes precedence alongside financial responsibilities.
Chapter 2: Prioritizing Relationships
In terms of relationships, I also crafted a priority list. Were there toxic individuals I clung to in the past? How did their presence affect my mental well-being? Why was I holding on to relationships that stifled my authenticity? Time is finite, and it's vital to invest in connections that uplift and support us.
Following the conclusion of my last relationship, I gained clarity about my needs and desires in a partner. Navigating the dating scene in New York can be challenging, but a clear understanding of what I seek helps me avoid hasty decisions in relationships.
The first video title is 22 Ways I Have Changed My Life (ideas for your next level self) - YouTube. This resource shares practical strategies and insights that can inspire you on your journey to self-improvement.
The second video title is How to Figure Out What You Really Want: Use This Life-Changing Hack - YouTube. This video offers a transformative technique to help you identify your true desires and aspirations.
How has this transformation benefited me?
With clearer goals in place, I feel more driven to pursue various activities, explore new avenues, and embrace adventure. Reevaluating my priorities has allowed me to eliminate negativity from my life, ensuring I surround myself with individuals who encourage my authentic self.
Living in the moment and cherishing each experience has become paramount. By stepping outside my comfort zone with an open heart and no expectations, I discover more about myself daily, fueling my growth.
I genuinely feel a sense of happiness regarding my progress. I am dedicated to taking better care of myself, allowing ample time for rest, adopting healthier eating habits, and practicing self-compassion. There are countless aspirations I wish to pursue, all of which are attainable only when I maintain good physical and mental health.
Self-awareness is the foundation of this journey. Recognizing the difference between my wants and needs was the first step. From there, creating a structured list to guide my journey toward a healthier, happier life became manageable.
Progress requires a single step to begin.
— Chase S.M. Neill