The Experience of Alcohol Cravings

Have you ever pondered why it seems insurmountable for an addict to simply stop drinking?

The best analogy I’ve discovered to articulate this sensation is that resisting a craving feels akin to trying to hold one’s breath indefinitely. Intellectually, I knew I didn’t need alcohol or cigarettes for survival, yet my body seemed oblivious to that truth. It felt as if I were harming myself by attempting to resist the urge.

What It Feels Like to Surrender

If resisting cravings is like holding one’s breath, then giving in feels like surfacing from water to take that first refreshing breath.

The transition often began even before I indulged in my first drink or smoke. I could be successfully navigating my days, remaining sober, when suddenly, a switch would flip in my mind. I would resolve to relapse, and that thought would dominate my consciousness.

As I drove to the store, it felt as though I had surrendered all control. I became a mere observer in my own actions, driving to purchase beer and cigarettes, convincing myself I had no other choice.

The moment I finally indulged after days of sobriety was overwhelming relief. It was as if clarity returned and the fog lifted, making me feel like my old self again. Giving in to a craving felt like taking a magic pill that alleviated my suffering. Remarkably, the effects were nearly immediate; by the time I finished my first drink or cigarette, I was already feeling a sense of relief.

However, it wasn't long before regret set in. I would berate myself for abandoning my commitment to sobriety, labeling myself as pathetic and hopeless. Yet, rather than immediately returning to my commitment to quit, I often used that slip as a justification to indulge for the rest of the evening, which frequently extended into weeks of relapse.

The irony was that the momentary pleasure of succumbing to cravings only made them harder to resist in the future. I was inadvertently conditioning myself to associate relapse with comfort, despite the subsequent misery it brought.

Finding a Path Forward

The essence of my message is to underscore the formidable challenge of resisting cravings and why so many individuals battling addiction find it difficult. If only there were a straightforward remedy to this struggle, but, for me, there wasn't.

Instead, I embarked on a challenging path of perseverance. I kept striving to quit in the face of relentless cravings. Gradually, I realized that I needed to shift my focus from those initial moments of relapse to the broader implications of my choices.

I reminded myself repeatedly that I owed it to myself to break free from the painful cycle of quitting and relapsing. When I felt the urge to give in, I tried to visualize where that path would ultimately lead me and sought support from others to help me resist.

I also learned to prevent that mental "switch" from flipping. I discovered that, regardless of the feelings I experienced, it was never too late to reconsider. There were numerous occasions when I found myself driving towards a store to buy beer but ultimately chose to turn around and head home instead.

If you are grappling with cravings, I understand the difficulty of your struggle. However, I also believe that overcoming them is achievable. Conquering addiction is likely one of the most arduous journeys you will face, but it is equally one of the most rewarding.

About Benya Clark

I am a former lawyer turned writer, focusing on addiction, mental health, and related topics. Don’t forget to check out my latest endeavor — a weekly newsletter featuring essays on sobriety.