Chapter 1: The Feeling of Being Stuck

Have you ever found yourself feeling stagnant in life, as if you're merely going through the motions? I certainly have for many years.

Despite trying various strategies like setting goals, altering my mindset, and engaging in side projects, I never managed to shake that sense of mediocrity. Everything changed when I began to uncover my Core Values.

It might sound exaggerated, but the process was surprisingly straightforward. I discovered that the aspects of life I valued most—the emotions, actions, and mindsets that bring me true fulfillment—were different from what I initially believed. The key to this realization? Skiing.

You may think this is unusual, but allow me to explain!

Understanding and recognizing your Core Values is crucial for self-awareness. Our values define who we are and serve as extensions of ourselves. When we're disconnected from these values, our beliefs become misaligned with our actions and emotions.

Having clearly articulated values fosters a sense of purpose, guiding decision-making and establishing a foundation for fulfillment. To put it simply, a value can be defined as follows:

1. The importance, worth, or usefulness attributed to something.
2. An individual's principles or standards of behavior, reflecting what they deem significant in life.

I would argue that values are uniquely personal. While individuals may share values with families or communities, each person possesses a distinct set of values. Customs and morals, on the other hand, refer to collective beliefs about right and wrong, rather than individual values.

A value embodies worth; it’s something you intuitively consider deserving of your time, energy, and attention.

Throughout each day, whether consciously or subconsciously, we make choices about where to direct our resources. With countless possibilities available, each decision reflects a value-based choice.

Ultimately, our behaviors mirror our values, which is evident in how we allocate our time, energy, and focus.

You might be thinking, "I know what my values are!" I felt that way too, but those were Topical Values, not Core Values.

So, what are Topical Values? They refer to broad categories like family, time, or honesty. In contrast, Core Values are specific words that evoke emotion, thought, and action.

To uncover your Core Values, it’s important to ask yourself some probing questions, such as:

• When do I feel most alive?
• What empowers me?
• What memorable experiences have shaped me?
• What cherished memories relate to my Topical Values?
• What feelings are connected to those experiences?
• Who was I during those moments?
• What core characteristics define these values?
• What emotions do I experience when these values are present?

I view this exploration as identifying the intrinsic values that each experience holds. For instance, when I’m skiing, I feel present, in flow, aware of my body, and confident in my abilities. Words like “grounded,” “fearless,” and “adventurous” come to mind. Skiing allows me to be non-judgmental, mindful, and in tune with myself.

When I reflected on my Topical Values (like skiing, family, music, and friendships), five key themes emerged: presence, connection, self-trust, grit, and curiosity. This led me to pinpoint my five Core Values:

1. Presence
2. Connection
3. Growth
4. Grit
5. Self-trust

By examining each Topical Value through experience and curiosity, I realized that skiing enables me to embody all four of my Core Values!

At first glance, the value of skiing may seem trivial, yet the underlying values of grit, connection, self-trust, and presence are significant. I discovered that skiing is not just an enjoyable pastime; it allows me to express my Core Values!

Had I merely listed values like family, love, time, and service, I would have missed the underlying Core Values that truly resonate with me.

This realization is what kept me feeling stuck. I believed family was important, so I tried to spend more time with them. However, what I truly valued was being present and connected, not merely increasing the quantity of time spent together.

The same applies to helping others. Why do I value service? It's because it fosters grit, growth, and connection for both myself and those I assist. Without this understanding, I found myself expending energy in ways that didn’t align with my values, leading to feelings of unfulfillment.

Conversely, skiing and hiking are activities I can't engage in daily, but I can still find ways to connect, be present, and cultivate curiosity in smaller moments throughout my day.

You don’t need to ski every day to experience presence, connection, growth, and grit. Instead, look for ways to incorporate these values into your everyday life.

Chapter 2: Skiing and Leadership

In this chapter, we explore how skiing can lead to success and leadership.

The first video, Skiing to Success: How Nicole Wieberneit Became a Microsoft Leader, illustrates how skiing shaped Nicole's leadership journey.

Next, we delve into the skills of carving with insights from an Olympian in the video Olympian Teaches Me How To Carve.