Chapter 1: The Essence of Connection

Recently, I delved into a thought-provoking chapter by an Italian philosopher, which can be distilled into a single profound idea: "The real drama lies in discovering aspects of oneself as a gift from the other." This concept prompted me to reflect deeply, revisiting those pages multiple times for clarity. The distinction between roles, the self, and the other creates a space for the act of giving, encapsulating this drama. In contemplating this, I recognize the significance of this rift—a clear line that separates me from the other, allowing for mutual recognition. In the realms of psychology, discussions surrounding love, body, and sexuality pivot around this theme. Perversion can be understood as the unconscious desire to identify oneself through the presence of another individual.

Years ago, I encountered a wise individual in a monastery whose insights I still cherish. During our conversation, two main ideas stood out: the notion of union and its counterpart, separation. The elder elaborated on the experiences that we, as flesh-and-blood humans, continuously undergo. Among these, he highlighted the most significant experience we all share: birth. At the onset of life, we undergo two crucial experiences. The first he termed "oceanic"—the moment we transition from the safety of the womb into the world, shifting from water to air, from tranquility to the upheaval inherent in leaving the mother’s protective embrace. The second experience is one of recognition; the mother, through an act of profound trust, presents us to the world, calling out to us and distinguishing us from herself, affirming, "You are unique, you are you." Birth signifies a separation, a departure from the body that nurtured us.

This theme resonates similarly during the act of intimacy: what we proudly refer to as union is often an erasure of the other for our pleasure through their body. Just as the mother calls us forth, no one will replicate that experience in our lives; we perpetually seek recognition in others. In fact, when we gaze into someone’s eyes, we see our own reflection in their pupils, a term that translates to "little doll," referring to our image mirrored in another.

Returning to the initial idea, the ability to understand ourselves through the other is a gift they continually offer. This notion has been scientifically explored by anthropologist Marcel Mauss, who described the gift as a moment of obligatory social interaction. The term "drama," in contrast, pertains to the separation we genuinely experience and, by extension, the unsuccessful union with others—not only in a sexual context, which would be the focus of psychoanalysis, but in every instance where we are called to recognize ourselves within another’s gaze, in every moment we derive joy from the gifts the other unknowingly provides.

Section 1.1: The Birth Experience

The discussion of birth as a pivotal experience reveals its dual nature—both oceanic and recognitional.

Subsection 1.1.1: The Oceanic Moment

Chapter 2: The Gift of Recognition

In the first video titled "Jordan Peterson: 'There was plenty of motivation to take me out. It just didn't work,'" the speaker discusses the various motivations behind personal recognition and the connections we form with others, reflecting on the interplay of societal and personal experiences.

In the second video, the theme of recognition in relationships is further explored, delving into how our interactions shape our understanding of self and other.