Transforming Addiction: How I Learned Spanish Through Cocaine
Written on
Chapter 1: The Unlikely Path to Language Mastery
Many people are astonished by my fluency in Spanish, but few know the unconventional circumstances that contributed to my skill. While I have always enjoyed learning languages—taking classes in college and engaging with the Spanish-speaking community in my small hometown—there's a surprising twist to my story.
Surprisingly, my proficiency in Spanish developed more from my experiences with cocaine than traditional methods. Throughout my twenties, I would find myself in dimly lit pool halls, sharing lines of coke with friends who predominantly spoke Spanish. One establishment, fondly remembered as Tankers, was the backdrop for many of these encounters, where I often sought to balance my intoxication with another line or two.
In those moments, surrounded by friends with limited English skills, I felt a false sense of bilingualism. Although my drug-fueled fluency may not have been as remarkable as I recall, there’s no denying I practiced conversational Spanish extensively while immersed in this lifestyle.
During these escapades, I also gleaned some harsh truths about relationships formed under the influence:
- Friendships often hinged on the availability of drugs or sexual interests.
- The names and faces of many of my drug acquaintances have faded from memory.
The connections I made were typically initiated by asking for a line to share, and more often than not, they were men who made inappropriate proposals in return. After snorting a line off a grimy toilet seat, I would play the innocent role, always insisting on paying for what I took. Thankfully, most of these encounters didn’t escalate beyond that.
Some of these acquaintances genuinely cared about my well-being, which I recognize as a stroke of luck considering the dangers I faced. Those I considered friends vanished just as quickly as they appeared, often only crossing my path again in recovery meetings.
Section 1.1: The Perils of Addiction
It's worth noting that heart issues among young adults are not typical unless one regularly engages in the use of stimulants. A normal resting heart rate is between 60 and 100 beats per minute (BPM). One fateful morning, I experienced what I thought was a heart attack after consuming several substantial lines of coke. Terrified, I reached out to my parents, who each reacted differently.
My mother, a nurse practitioner, advised me to walk laps around our house to help my body metabolize the drug, while my father, panicking, insisted I visit him at work. I declined, opting instead to walk and eventually sleep off the fear, vowing to quit cocaine—at least until the following weekend.
Section 1.2: The Crossroads of Choice and Addiction
Reflecting on my journey, I remember the first time I was offered cocaine while under the influence of cheap beer. The rush of euphoria was instantaneous, but I can’t pinpoint when I crossed that fateful line. It was a swift transition from curiosity to compulsion, as the allure of cocaine tightened its grip on me.
My addiction drove me to pursue other substances, including meth, whenever cocaine was out of reach. While I always returned to alcohol, cocaine was a different beast altogether, providing fleeting moments of happiness and a sense of belonging within an unreliable circle.
Addiction is insidious. The drug itself is harmful, but it’s the rewiring of my brain that led me down paths I never intended to follow. Cocaine robbed me of my ability to choose, pushing me toward dangerous encounters and desperate situations.
Chapter 2: Finding My Way Out of the Abyss
You may be curious how I escaped this cycle of addiction. It wasn’t through my language skills or a single moment of clarity. Rather, I reached out for help, experiencing what some might describe as a divine intervention. After numerous low points, I surrendered my troubled mind, body, and spirit to something greater than myself on March 8, 2003. This time, my addiction was lifted.
I can’t explain why this moment was different, but I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to break free from the hell I had created. Today, I no longer rely on substances to enhance my Spanish-speaking abilities or to forge connections. Cocaine once promised me happiness but ultimately stripped it away.
Now, I have the power to choose how I treat myself, and I choose health, joy, and freedom. If you suspect that you might struggle with substance abuse, I encourage you to seek help. Resources such as 12-step programs can provide invaluable support on your journey to recovery.
- Narcotics Anonymous: na.org
- Cocaine Anonymous: ca.org
- Alcoholics Anonymous: AA.org
- Additional resources: hazeltonbettyford.org
Related Reads:
- When You’re Too Drunk to Remember: You Might Be an Alcoholic
- How Jail Time Helped Save My Life: The Unexpected Benefits of Incarceration
- Why We Need to Be Glamorous When We’re Drunk: Clinging to Illusions