Section 1.1: The Psychological Impact of Feeling Trapped

I distinctly recall feeling like a hamster on a wheel during my time in toxic relationships—feeling confined and utterly hopeless. After finally escaping (for the last time), I experienced a sense of paralysis. I was completely drained—emotionally, mentally, and physically. Although I had achieved freedom, I felt incapable of taking action with it.

Initially, I perceived this as a weakness. Yet, this reaction is entirely normal following a period of captivity—this phenomenon is also observed in the animal kingdom.

Consider the case of elephants in various cultures, where they serve practical purposes like transportation. Just as you provided emotional sustenance to a toxic individual, elephants are often bound to their owners.

You might assume that an elephant, being significantly larger than its owner, could easily escape. Likewise, you are an individual capable of making your own choices. However, both the elephant and you remain bound. Why is that?

What enables an elephant's owner to maintain control over an animal that vastly outweighs them, and how does a narcissist keep someone with autonomy under their thumb? The answer lies in deeply ingrained habits formed during childhood.

When an elephant is young, it is tethered to a large tree. Despite its attempts to break free, the young elephant learns over time that it cannot escape. Eventually, it stops trying altogether.

Similarly, as a child, you might have wanted to assert your free will, but your very survival depended on your caregivers, compelling you to conform. As the elephant matures, it equates the chain with an inability to escape. Consequently, a fully grown elephant can be seen chained to a flimsy post, convinced it can't break free, even when it clearly could.

As you transition into adulthood, you might unknowingly gravitate back to familiar yet unhealthy environments because they feel safe. Our minds instinctively lead us towards the known.

Section 1.2: Recognizing Toxicity

This narrative sheds light on the limitations we impose on ourselves and underscores the significance of mindset.

For much of my life, I was oblivious to the damage inflicted by my relationships. At that time, I was unaware of the mind-body connection, and I failed to recognize that my partner's behavior was not only abnormal but toxic.

My emotions were the alarm bells ringing incessantly, but I chose to silence them repeatedly. I believed that the feelings of others held more weight than my own and was convinced that if my partner altered their behavior, I would feel better.

Unfortunately, that’s not how it operates. If change was necessary, it was up to me to initiate it.

Over time, I educated myself on the nature of toxic relationships and their profound impacts on individuals. Now, I can identify red flags swiftly.

I spent a considerable period in a victim mentality until I discovered the law of attraction. This knowledge allowed me to view my subjective experiences more objectively and begin redirecting my energy, as I recognized that my emotions serve as my internal compass.